Paradise in Hell 

If it wasn’t that we were outside up to no good or at home rapping and watching channel u instead of working my ma was always lecturing me and my brothers about something, while the only other girl in the house my angel sister would stand beside my ma as if she was her lawyer, making a scene every time we answered back, loud enough for the whole block to hear and speaking for me and my brothers most things went in one ear and came out the other.

At the time I was just ten and anything I saw my two brothers do (one being 14 and the other 16) was the right thing in my eyes. I idolized them more than anything but am not sure i could say the same for them,what they saw in me was annoying little brother who they had to drag everywhere they went.

Ma sent me to a youth club to keep me out of trouble in the summer with one of my brothers Zeekil(14) while Rashawn(16) went where ever he wanted, most of the time studio with his friends cause he thought he was the man of the house with our dad always away.

At the youth club my two closet friends were Terrell and Montana who unlike me thought of the youth club as heaven because of the variety of girls…Lightskins,brownies,darkskins and even Latinas round here most boys weren’t into white girls.It wasn’t uptight or cocky but this was south london and the attitude of most girls was too much to handle.